Why Should I Speak Up?

Contrary to the nursery rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” words can make people physically ill. Studies have linked persistent racism and inappropriate comments to anxiety, high blood pressure, and depression. Employers need to view emotional attacks the same way that they would physical violence.

Tips on Speaking Up

Always give the person the benefit of the doubt – assume they did not intend to hurt you or others – it is a result of lack of understanding and awareness. If we know better we do better. This will help you point out the inappropriateness of the comment in a less accusing, aggressive, and confrontational manner. A person who is not on the defensive is more willing to listen and change.

If the comment comes from your colleague….

• Stop the joke - when you realize the punch line of the joke will be racist, discriminatory, sexist or otherwise inappropriate, ask the person not to tell it at all.
• Interrupt the laughter. This creates space for everyone to also stop laughing, and tell people that it offends you.
• Ask “What’s so funny?” or I’m not sure what you mean when you say “That’s so gay”. Can you explain it to me?” - When people are faced with articulating their inappropriate comment they begin to see why it was inappropriate and are less likely to repeat the behaviour when they understand its impact.
• Make your response personal, “Did you know my brother is gay?”, “My child has a disability”. If the inappropriate comments were directed at someone in the office – say “how would Ashmed feel if he heard you say that?” Personalizing the exclusion makes the speaker realize the impact of their words.

If the comment came from your boss

Speaking up when you hear the person who signs your paycheck, allocates work, and completes your performance review say something inappropriate is especially daunting. But addressing inappropriate comments from a person with power is most important of all, as true change, respect, and creating an inclusive workplace culture comes from the top.

• Address the comment in private – Meet with your supervisor and let them know why you found the comment offensive or inappropriate. If you do not feel comfortable doing this alone find an ally.
• Find an ally – by having others from your team help you address the comments, the supervisor may be more likely to understand that it is not a personal attack, but that the behaviour was not appreciated or accepted by the team. If you do not feel comfortable doing this, speak to Human Resources.
• Involve Human Resources – most organizations have a policy against discrimination, under which often this type of comment would apply. Your Human Resources department can provide the policy, as well and support and suggestions for actions.

Oops…The comment came from you

Ok, you realize your mistake - what you said is not true, not funny, and perpetuating stereotypes. But what do you do now?

• Your best bet is to apologize – a simple “I’m sorry” to everyone who overheard your comment or joke is a great start. The sooner the better.
• Be open to feedback – after you have apologized, ask “help me to understand why I have offended you”, listen attentively; end the conversation by indicating you would like to receive continued feedback.
• Put it in writing. An honest sincere letter can mend many wounds, especially if you were so embarrassed by your comment you were lost for words to apologize immediately.
• Offer to make amends – ask what you can do to correct the situation and make it better.
• Become the person who speaks up!

How Does My Organization Get Better at Speaking Up?

You have equipped yourself with the basic elements of tips for addressing inappropriate comments and creating a more inclusive workplace. How do you make lasting change in your organization?

Knowledge is Power and Practice Makes Perfect. As a starting point consider sharing this newsletter with your colleagues. Experimental learning such as role playing and simulations in training sessions can provide a forum for participants to practice intervening when they are faced with this type of situation. Having the right words at the tip of your tongue make it easier to intervene quickly, non-aggressively, and effectively. As we stated at the outset, we know that the majority of these comments aren’t intentionally malicious, so creating greater awareness of the power of words; this may nip in the bud some of these situations from ever occurring. Preemptive training will help reduce your harassment and discrimination complaints, and productivity and employee engagement increases when you create an inclusive workplace.

Free Workshop - Developing Your Diversity Strategy - Calgary, December 16

In this complimentary interactive workshop Dr. Judy Laws will guide organizations in developing a diversity strategy. Using her real world experience in developing strategies and her theoretical know-how, Judy will direct participants through the guide posts to developing a successful and sustainable diversity strategy. Her experience in the field will help you avoid a stop-gap approach to diversity, and develop a strategy that fosters a truly inclusive workplace culture.

To reserve a space, please email Janis Brown, jbrown@graybridgemalkam.com

Jas Kalra co-presenter in the Telfer - Focus India program

This program is a comprehensive "doing business in India" executive learning program offered by the Telfer School of Management at the University of Ottawa with its partner organizations. The objective of the program is to significantly enhance Canadian firms' effectiveness in doing business in India or with Indian firms. It will be held in Ottawa in February.Click here for more information.

We love to hear your feedback! Let us know what you think about any of the articles featured here, or any suggestions for future editions. newsletter@graybridgemalkam.com

Graybridge Malkam

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